Today’s article, the last in my summer series on relationships, is the last written by Reggie. Here, Reggie wrote on the topic of brotherhood. It’s also a reprint from our (Reggie and my) A Stitch in Time newsletter. I hope you enjoy reading today’s article whether reading for the first time or second!
There are many things I thank GOD for since being with my queen, Dawn. One of them is the brotherhood I was confronted with early on in our relationship. During a trip Dawn and I took to Pennsylvania to check on a site for a Christian college retreat, I was introduced to some wonderful people. Out of all the people I met during that day, two stood out to me-namely Joe Shea and Steve Bugler.
At their first opportunity, both Joe and Steve took it upon themselves to have a private talk with me. Neither conversation was casual chitchat. Both men were on a mission—to look out for Dawn because she was their sister-in-the-LORD.
One at a time, Joe and Steve introduced themselves to me. When they did, each made it known to me, man-to-man that they would “come talk to me,” if they saw Dawn wasn’t being treated well. Both shared with me, “Dawn is like my sister. And if we have to, we will hurt you!!!” Needless to say, I took heed, because we are married today.
Now, I know there is some lost art that Picasso and Van Gough have done. But what happened to the lost art of real, genuine brothers in the Body Of CHRIST? What happened to men who would look after their sisters-in-the-LORD, step to any man interested in her and let that man know that if you mistreat her, you’ll have to answer to me?
When we treat them as jewels, we set the tone for others.Reggie Sanders
Now, I understand that this may pose a problem because the man seeing our sister may think we are trying to keep her for ourselves. They may not be accustomed to men like Joe and Steve. Men like them are rare, but then, so are our sisters-in-the-Lord. They are beautiful jewels—gifts—and they are to be treated as such. When we treat them as jewels, we set the tone for others.
I want to point out that Joe and Steve were not effective through force. They were effective through relationship. Dawn felt safe and secure with them. I saw how comfortable she was with Joe and Steve when she greeted them and as when we all went about checking out the site. Dawn respected their opinions. I knew she would not mind Joe and Steve speaking up for her, so when they talked, I listened.
Also, though I just met Joe and Steve, I found myself respecting them too. Both Joe and Steve were in college ministry and had a good reputation in place. I saw them with others, which helped me understand that they were speaking to me out of brotherly love for Dawn and nothing else.
Now, they may see it as selfish and personal, but what I’ve come to experience is men respect another man for being there to aid and help the tender-gender. As a matter of fact, to this day, Steve and Joe are some of my true brothers whom I respect and value greatly.
So, the next time you are looking for a lost art, check to see if you can find a man who is watching out for another lady with genuine love and concern.
Until next time, let me go do what I said…
Summer Series on Relationships:
- Part One – Preparing for a relationship by spending time alone with God.
- Part Two – Some tips from my late husband Reginald Sanders on how to spend time alone with God.
- Part Three – Who should take initiative in a relationship and when.
- Part Four – Protecting your significant other’s tender spots and vulnerabilities.
- Part Five – Getting your priorities in order.
- Part Six – Healing past pain.
- Part Seven – Overcoming trust issues.
- Part Eight – Overcoming fear.
- Part Nine – Valuing women.
- Part Ten – Honesty in a relationship.
- Part Eleven – The cause of your discomfort.
- Part Twelve – Your beliefs.
- Part Thirteen – Believe quickly.
- Part Fourteen – At the heart of good relationships is friendship.
- Part Fifteen – Real, genuine brothers and sisters-in-Christ.
- How do you feel about brothers-in-Christ sticking up for their sisters-in-Christ?
- Acknowledge both positive and negative emotions and why you feel them.