The topic of the very first A Stitch in Time newsletter I wrote was hope, hope of a great love. Reggie and I were 43-year-old newlyweds. I mention that we were 43 because we didn’t come by our love early in life. We stumbled first, each in our own way, before finding each other. I wrote about hope because I wanted to encourage other people who had stumbled, not just once, but multiple times like me, to not give up. There was hope. Reggie and I were living breathing proof.
My dream of a great marriage came true. In fact, God gave me exceedingly abundantly above what I asked or thought. I had an extraordinary love. Buoyed by the hope of that love, we began to build an extraordinary life. Nine months into our marriage, we founded our ministry, A Cord of Blue. A year into our marriage, we began trying to conceive. We wanted to add an addition to our happy family.
I had an extraordinary love. Buoyed by the hope of that love, we began to build an extraordinary life.
I wrote that first newsletter a little over a year after we married not knowing that a little over a year later Reggie and my two children would be gone (miscarriages) taking a little of my hope with them. Let me be clear, I still had faith. I knew God could give me another extraordinary life. He had given me multiple great loves, each one better than the one before.
So, I had no doubt He could do it again with my life, but without Reggie and my children, I just had no idea what that looked like. Nor was I sure if I wanted this new life. I loved, wanted, and liked the life I had and wanted it back.
No, my challenge wasn’t could He, but would He. Would God allow me to have another extraordinary life? If so, would He allow me to have it just for it to be taken away again?
And there it was—the fear. When Reggie first died, I didn’t want to want anything because I didn’t want to risk hurting like this again. I was trying to protect myself from the pain—of God’s choices for me. Lord, I believe; help my unbelief! (Mark 9:24)
So, here I am trusting God. My new extraordinary life (my next big thing) has not arrived yet, but I finally want it and believe it is on its way. I’m on a journey to find/create/build it because there is still hope.
Questions:
- Has a life-altering event impacted your hope? If so, how?
- Are you afraid to hope because of past hurts?
- What can you do to overcome your fear?
